An Eternity to Live
by CellarDoor717
Summary: Oneshot. Bella and the Cullens have a conversation about what it's like to be a vampire before her change. Set during Breaking Dawn. All normal pairings.


An Eternity to Live

The New Hampshire home was quaint. It was big, but it was quaint, and peaceful. It was surrounded by tall trees, and there were no other houses nearby, which would be good later. The house was beautiful, Esme had done a good job.

Edward and I had just gotten back from our honeymoon today. We met the rest of the Cullens here, at our new house. A moving truck was outside the house, as were we.

"We missed you!" Esme said, hugging Edward, and then me.

"Bella!" Alice screamed, slamming into me, a little too roughly, and then bombarding me with questions about the honeymoon. When the questions got too fast for me to answer I just stared at her with a blank look on my face. Emmett laughed while pulling me into a hug and Rosalie hugged me sweetly, but still awkwardly. Jasper smiled at me and nodded, but I noticed his eyes were darker than usual, so I returned the nod and kept my distance. After rejoining the family, Esme spoke again,

"Let's get unpacking." Alice shot to the moving truck her high pitched voice yelling frantically,

"Jjaassppeerr!! We have to pick our room before they steal all the good ones!"

Jasper didn't speak but smiled affectionately after Alice who was running into the house with boxes in her arms. Then he grabbed more boxes and ran upstairs after her. All of the Cullens unloaded boxes in the blink of an eye, and then shot into the house like Alice had. I grabbed a box from the van, but it turned out to be super heavy, so instead I tried one that read "Bella's clothes." This one was better, so I began carrying it into the house. I stopped in the living room where Esme already had all of the furniture arranged.

"What do you think Bella?" Esme stood with her hands on her hips, scrutinizing the arrangement.

"It looks nice Esme." I said from behind the box of clothing. I continued to walk towards the stairs when suddenly the box disappeared from my arms. Edward was standing in front of me holding the box out of my reach. He laughed loudly, then shot up the stairs and returned before I could say a word.

"Your box is in our room. You can unpack it when you want to, or you could probably get Alice to do it for you. It would only take her a few seconds." I rolled my eyes and smiled back at him.

"Nah, I'll unpack it myself." Edward laughed again and shot out of the door. Figuring I would serve very little help in unpacking, I trudged upstairs. Edward had already finished unpacking our room. The bed with the golden comforter was there underneath a very large circular window overlooking the forest. I stared at the view for a few moments before I began unpacking my own stuff. I pulled clothing out of the box, put it on a hanger, and the on the bar. I was starting to get into a little routine when Alice walked in.

"Hey Bella. My room's done, need help?" Without even waiting for an answer, she began doing the same thing I was, only a lot faster. And she arranged the clothing by color. We were done in less than a minute.

"Thanks Alice."

"You're welcome." She began to look around the room. "This rooms nice, you have a great view."

"Yeah, it is nice." my mind was somewhere else. Today was my last day of being human. I just wanted to make sure I hadn't forgotten anything. Alice sat up a little straighter and started listening to the rest of the house's occupants.

"Jasper's done unpacking his study, Carlisle's finished putting his books away, and Esme's finally decided on a furniture arrangement that she likes." Alice informed me brightly. "Do you wanna go downstairs?"

"Sure." We headed downstairs. When we finally made it down due to my slow human pace, Carlisle was setting up a bed in the living room.

He smiled warmly at Alice and me. "We think that this would be a good place for the change to happen. This makes it easy for everyone to keep an eye on you. I nodded. The rest of the family was in the living room. I sat on a couch next to Edward.

"Are you okay" He murmured in my ear.

"I'm fine." I replied. Edward glanced up at Jasper.

"Yeah, she's okay. Just a little nervous, mostly about the pain from what I can feel. Honestly, you're worse Edward." Jasper said. I looked up at Edward and felt guilty. I didn't want to put him through pain, but I knew that in the end, this was the best decision.

"I just don't want you to have any regrets." he sighed.

"Why? Do you have regrets?" I asked.

"I think that we all have some regrets." Esme spoke from the couch across from us.

"Really?" I was kind of surprised, I knew that Rosalie must have some, but I'd never thought that everyone felt regretful about their new life as a vampire. "Do you ever wish you were human?"

Everyone nodded back at me and I heard a "yeah" and a "sometimes".

"Why?"

"If I were human, life would be easier. I wouldn't constantly have to control my thirst." Jasper said solemnly. I nodded. That made sense, and it was also something I was not looking forward to. The fact that I was going to be a monster, that I would want to kill what I once was.

"That's understandable." I murmured.

Then Alice spoke. "I wish I were human sometimes. Humans change. I'm stuck in a 4 foot 11 body forever, and my hair will never grow."

Wow. I hadn't thought about that yet. I should make sure I like the way I look before the change, maybe ask Alice to get rid of my split ends.

Carlisle spoke next. "Working in a hospital, the only thing I envy of humans is death."

I was very surprised at this. I had always feared death. But that might change once I'm a vampire.

Carlisle continued. "When humans die they look like they're going to sleep. It looks very peaceful," he chuckled, "but most of them are so afraid to go on," his voice trailed away.

Rosalie's head had been bowed but she glanced upward after Carlisle's remark and spoke softly, "I think you all know why I wish I were human." Emmett touched her hand softly and shut his eyes with a pained expression on his face. Jasper looked as though he might go into hysterics from all of the sudden sadness in the room, and Esme nodded to Rosalie in agreement.

"I wish for children as well. Don't get me wrong, you all make wonderful replacements. But I didn't get to raise you. And I don't get to have grandchildren." Everybody was silent for a few moments, until Emmett brightened the mood.

"I miss human food. I remember how delicious it used to be. Now it just tastes like dirt. I love blood, of course, it's better than anything I've ever tasted, but there's just not much variety in the different types of animal blood. And solid food I miss as well, drinking all of your meals becomes tiring after a while."

I actually laughed at this, and then thought, "Maybe I should have a 'last meal' tomorrow," but decided against it. It sounded too morbid.

Alice spoke again. "I wish that I could sit out in the sunlight more often. It's a pain having to revolve your life around the weather. But at least I can see it coming I guess." I smiled briefly at her, but then looked at Edward. He looked very deep in thought.

He spoke his words slowly. "I wish that I were human, because then I could sleep. And dream," he looked down at me, "When you sleep you seem so—so untroubled by the entire world. You can just escape it and go into sleep. And when you talk in your sleep," he chuckled, "it makes me laugh, but I actually envy you."

"Alice is able to get the closest to falling asleep in our family," Carlisle informed me. Alice nodded and I saw her blink her eyes. "With Jaspers power to relax her as much as possible, she just lets her brain relax and uses her visions almost as dreams. It's like déjà vu for humans, only more powerful."

"I'm probably the least regretful of my life as a vampire," Alice added. "I don't remember any of my human life, and it sounded horrible anyways. Also my entire vampire life has had Jasper in it."

"Same for me," Emmett said, "It's not too bad because I've always had my Rose. And being a vampire's really fun."

"Why?" I asked, amused.

"The strength," Emmett grinned.

"The speed," was Edward's answer. Then he looked at Rosalie and laughed out loud.

"What?" I looked at him, then at her.

"This is going to sound really vain, but the beauty." she wouldn't look us in the eyes, especially Edward.

Alice was laughing hard now, "That does sound really vain. But I can't say I'm surprised."

Carlisle spoke now and the attention turned to him. "I like being a vampire because, once you get over the blood craving, it makes it easy to do my job, and I can do it for as long as I want."

"And I can take care of my family," Esme added, "as long as I want."

"If I could choose," Alice sighed, "I still would've chosen this life. Because it's really fun being a vampire. I have the freedom to do what I want, and I have all of eternity to spend with Jasper."

"Eternity's really not that bad," Jasper shrugged, "as long as you have someone you're willing to spend it with, that makes all of the difference." He nudged Alice playfully.

"That's why we think Edward was so grumpy before," Alice smiled, "he had all of the time and the world, but no one to spend it with."

Edward looked embarrassed, but he took my hand. "And now I have you, Bella. Are you ready to spend eternity with me?" I looked into those eyes. The color of butterscotch. The ones that had become so familiar to me.

"Yes." And I was. I was ready to live for eternity, as long as I had Edward with me.

**If you liked this story, please read my other stories for Twilight. ****First Light****, a story about Alice's past, and ****Happy****, a story about Esme's past before she became a vampire.**


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